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Hartford, Kentucky
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March 28, 2002     The Ohio County Times News
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March 28, 2002
 

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years, Cards will usher in- colorful tile season's Sas- .on March 31 begins a few 20. But other so greet- into the smgs It you see a flower tulips and the are viewed excited season air! rich, off- replaced a few frolic in ave been Most, of or the 3 of With the Eas- one a and rob- verse they has kit- 'Our mit. Start to too, tuvestin' knows a hissie fit. And column knOWS Znany fish knows direction and knows mean knows to do long. By Dorothy Gentry The average suth'ner knows how good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are in a coun- try store. The average suth'ner knows what, "Well, I Suwannee!" means. The average suth'ner knows ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits. The average suth'ner knows a good dog is worth its weight in gold. The average suth'ner knows real gravy don't come from a store. The average suth'ner knows when "by and by" is. The average suth'ner knows how to handle their "pot licker: The average suth'ner knows the difference between "pert near" and "a right fur piece." The average suth'ner knows the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. The average suth'ner knows never to go snipe hunting twice. The average suth'n~r at one point learns what happens when you swallow tobacco juice. The average suth'ner knows to never assume that the other car with the flashing turn sig- nal is actually going to make a turn. The average suth'ner knows you may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows. The average suth'ner knows you should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody. The average suth'ner knows rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers. The average suth'ner also knows rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons. RRR We read that over 800 Ken- tuckians died last year on our roads and highways. Many lives could be saved every year if more people took a few sec- onds to buckle up. And/n) fact, we heard a report thatff one is involved in an accidefft and does not have seat belts buckled, it's another fine! RRR A small boy was sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later... "Da-ad..." What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out...and if you ask again, H1 spank you." Five minutes later... "D!! aaaa-aaaad..." ~;-HAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?~ RRR Each year, the Washington Post's "Style Invitational~ asks readers to take any ~0rd from the dictionary, alter it by add- ing, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new deft- nition. W you Ba!tist Church week of Jesus life on earth. For GOD so loved the world that he gave His only begot- ten Son, that whoso- ever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 The following are the 2001 winners: INTAXICATION: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. REINTARNATION: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. GIRAFFITI: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. SARCHASM: The gulf be- tween the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. INOCUI~2~rE: To take coffee intravenously when you are run- ning late. RRR And we heard that a husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself: "You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you are the boss." Of course the husband takes the doctor's advice. He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife's face, and growls, "From now on, you are taking orders from me. I want my sup- per right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I'm going out with the boys and you are going to stay at home where you belongY "And another thing...Do you know who's going to comb my hair, adjust my pants and then tie my bow tie?" "I certainly do," says his wife calmly, "The undertaker.~ Review One of the biggest issues of the General Assembly's 2002 session landed in the Senate last week after House members wrapped up their work on the next Ker/- tucky budget. Now it's the Senate's turn to scrutinize the $14.4 billion two-year spending plan and make whatever changes necessary to ensure the measure reflects the priorities of the people we represent. Senate budget hearings are already underway. With less than 15 working days until the end of the legislative session, the fights in the State Capitol will be burning late into the night as we dig into the budget and make sure the final spending plan is structurally sound. In doing so, we21 some challenges unlike those we've faced in recent years. The na- tional economic slowdown has caused shortfalls in many states across the nation, and Kentucky is no exception. As a result, the budget in its current form gener- ally maintains, but doesn't in- creases spending for state govern- ment programs and services. It also doesn't include spending for capital construction projects. During its journey through the House, the budget largely re- mained consistent with the governor's original proposal. The biggest departure from the governor's plan is in the area of raises for achers. The governor had proposed making school dis- tricts pick up the tab for teacher raises during the first year of the budget cycle. That requirement was removed from the budget due to concerns that finally strapped school districts would be forced to cut student programs to fund the teacher raises. Instead, the budget calls for the state to pro- vide a 1.6 percent teacher pay in- crease in 2003 and a 2.7 percent increase in 2004. School districts that can afford to add the pay raises for their children are en- couraged to do so. While the budget is now a major focus of our work, we're still plugging away on a number of other important issues. Last week we approved legislation aimed at improving the number of minority teachers and admin- istrators in Kentucky schools. Senate Bill 167 would require school beards, commissions and councils to regularly review data regarding the minority and gen- der composition of school person- nel to determine if there is ad- equate representation. It "S /ladn e s s AUTO SALES POWDERLY, KY 1/2 Mile Past Central City Super WaI-Mart on Right Just In Time For Tax Season, The $2,000 Match Program. We Will Match Your Cash Or Trade A.C.V. Up To $2000 HOW IT WORKS: YOUR CASH OR TRADE A.C.V. OUR MATCH- 000 - EQUALS 000 DOWN /;KY 2001 CHEVY MAUBU Pw, R,~I, CroW, CD ----li''C~'0 ~ 0"I C~t'~ AVC -$LO(~O C~WI%d ACV .$2.00) M~ ~,~$2:Xi { BlKfliner. Tdt. Cruise. M~h 42.~J0 [/VC, Auto, LOW Miles $1F#/m' ~r LS 4X4 c~cv -$~oo ~, 0~ {m~d {~/, ~ 42.000 Muc~ Mote, l~l~l" w $1~ 2000 FORD P, NGR XU SUPER CAB 4X4 4,0 V6. auto, 4 doors 2000 CHEW S-10 LS 2001 BUICK REGAL LS s,~ ~,,~ 5,~,~, L~, I~, Seat Pw, R, T~, C~'V'fr~ AVC -$L~ 2001 BUICK S~ ~ ${4.~0 CENTURY c~,~^cv -5~ L.oade~ & Low Ml~es. M~ -$2~00 2001 OIEVl .ET C~r~ ^CV 42~o CAVALIER u=~ -~.~ co, Auto. NC. Low M~ $I~ e~ S'/,.~J~ 1999 PONTIAC s~ ~= SUNRRE SE .=~ Mark Pogue, Owner Je~y ~ U~ C~ Mamffr Freda Pegae, Mark Oben Terry Ro~, Diane Garrett Ofl~ Mamq~ Sales Mgr. Businm ManagerRental Clerk Sieve Clark, Sales ktch ~m. Service MF. Tim J~. M~ Brute ~. l~tatl i [" !